Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Randomize
