I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
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