the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
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