before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Randomize
