There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
