new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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