So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Randomize
