So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
Randomize
