They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
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I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
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There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
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