thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
Randomize