too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
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