Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
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