The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Randomize
