I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
