After last night, I could never be a politician.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
Randomize
