I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
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