I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Randomize
