Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
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