The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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