How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Randomize
