i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day ππ#pensacolaproblems
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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