The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize