He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
Randomize
