how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
