remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
Princesses don't give blow jobs
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Randomize
