ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize
