i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
COCAINE IS GR8
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
