our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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