Cold hands, warm shart.
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
Randomize
