thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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