I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
Come see our sink grown plant.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
