i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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