maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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