Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
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You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
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