Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Randomize
