Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
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