escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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