i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
