About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
Randomize
