just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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