I'm drive I can fine osifer
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Randomize
