u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
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