I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
