I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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