A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
Randomize
