I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
I can't put those talents on a resume
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Randomize
