did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Randomize
