I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
you never un-have a 4some
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
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