Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Randomize
