She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
Randomize
