Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize