Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
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