Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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