there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
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